Book Genre: Non-Fiction Psychology
Do you ever feel like you’re talking to a brick wall? The first step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. But whether the person is a cynical colleague, furious customer, or overwhelmed spouse, their emotional barriers may be blocking your message. And if you can’t break through, you can’t move forward. “Just Listen” has helped tens of thousands of people tear down walls and establish productive communication.
I’ve just completed listening to Just Listen for the 4th time.
Though this book’s target audience is adults, I’ve found the advice in this book enormously helpful and applicable as a teenager.
I’ve broken up fights and persuaded my little sisters to do their chores by making them feel felt, because they often feel overlooked, and using the Side-By-Side technique.
I’ve gotten my Dad to calm down and empathize with me.
I’ve helped a friend through a break up. Afterwards, this is what he texted me: “I should come to you more often for stuff like this tbh because you seem very aware of the situation and how to at least approach me about it which I feel like no one else really has so I appreciate that greatly. I’ll try to come to you more for stuff from this because I actually feel a little bit happier from this talk.”
I’ve used to “Never Again” tool to prevent myself from repeating mistakes, such as: speaking when I’m too emotionally charged (mouthing off to my parents…), lifting too much weight while trying to compare myself to a sixteen year-old boy, not texting guys too late at night, and getting to bed earlier instead of staying up late to plan.
And I’ve used the “Be Interested, Not Interesting” rule for the past several years with enormous success. I tried this with my hair stylist, and afterwards he told my mom, “She is the most well-mannered young lady I have ever met. I’ll be happy if my son is half as nice as she is.” This technique is probably the one I’ve had the most experience using. I always learn something interesting while drawing the other person into the conversation.
It’s amazing what just listening can accomplish. I’ve learned all of the techniques above and more thanks to this audio book.
Which is why I owe a huge thank you to the author, Mark Goulston, for delivering this information clearly with practical applications, peppering the book with stories that are not only entertaining, but prove these techniques work, and for revolutionizing how I interact with others.
What’s your biggest struggle when interacting and communicating with other people? Which tools from Just Listen do you think you’d use?