Genre: Self Help on Dating and Relationships
“When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well…”
You’ll like this if you like: Psychology, Understanding Differences in Gender, or Improving Relationships.
From Book Jacket
Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets.
Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Dr. John Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs, and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners.
I have to give credit to my ingenious boyfriend for lending me this book. He read it first, underlining things that applied to him (since the book has to explain men and women through broad stereotypes) and things he wanted to remember. Then he lent it to me and encouraged me to mark in it and highlight it too. When he gets it back, he’ll be able to read over my notes and thoughts. If you’re in a relationship, I’d highly recommend this. It gives you insights on your significant other you wouldn’t have otherwise, and it’s a great way to promote growth and understanding in a relationship.
As I said above, this book covers the two genders with very broad stereotypes, and more than likely, you won’t fit the description of stereotypical man/woman perfectly. As John Gray says, “I suggest that when you do not relate to something in this book, either ignore it (moving on to something you do relate to) or look deeper inside yourself.”
This book explains so many confusing male behaviors. For example, oftentimes when a guy I know is trying to process his emotions, he shuts me out, which is when I used to freak out. I know that I need support and someone to help me work things out, so when a guy shuts me out I’m worried he’s hurting himself or not getting what he needs. But apparently this is just how some males process their emotions.
But again, stereotypes are dangerous, so just keep in mind what you learn may not apply to everyone. If you can go over this with a specific person of the opposite gender you’re trying to build a relationship with, that’s ideal. Then they can tell you what stereotypes do or don’t fit them, and you can sidestep the danger of stereotyping that person all together.
Other books you might like:
Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
What major differences have you noticed between men and women? How do they think and communicate differently?