The Five Love Languages is centered around the idea that everyone has a love tank. When someone’s love tank is empty, problems occur, and they become depressed, bitter, critical, etc. The only way to keep someone’s love tank full is by speaking their love language, which could be one of the following:
Words of Affirmation
Those who have this love language feel most loved when they’re given compliments or when they hear how much they’re appreciated.
Those who speak this love language feel most loved when someone spends time with them, giving them their undivided attention.
Those with this love language feel loved when they’re given a gift. The gift itself doesn’t matter–it could simply be a pretty leaf found on a nature walk–but the thought behind the gift does.
Acts of Service
If this is you’re love language, you feel most loved when someone does something for you, like making you a meal or taking care of your chores for a day.
Those with this love language feel most loved when they’re touched, whether it’s a back massage, hug, or even a nudge.
The book explains that each language has different dialects. Even people with the same love language may not understand each other, because there are so many variations for each love language.
Another point brought up repeatedly is: Love is a choice. It compares “in love” (as in the euphoric, passionate feeling) to true love. A huge mistake many people make is assuming “in love” is true love, when in reality “in love” is only a feeling that lasts around two years.
I loved this book! It was so eye-opening. The great thing about the five love languages is that it can apply to any relationship–not just those of the marital variety. For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to find out the primary love languages of my family, so I can keep their love tanks as full as possible.
And I really loved the comparisons of “in love” and true love. At one point, the book says that if you speak your spouse’s love language fluently, he/she won’t even miss the euphoric “in love” feeling. The book is nearly bursting at its seams with story after story to demonstrate each of its points. Each love language chapter ends with practical tips to apply what you’ve learned.
I’d recommend this to anyone who wants deeper, stronger relationships.
How do you think true love differs from “in love?” Is there a difference? Which of the Five Love Languages do you speak?